Self-Confidence at Uni.

 

Confidence is something we all tend to struggle with. We all have our own insecurities about ourselves, and it seems that coming to Uni can heighten these insecurities. Suddenly you are placed in this brand-new environment surrounded by people you don’t know and you need to make friends all over again, as if you are back in primary school. There is now this strong desire to act a certain way, look a certain way and be a certain way in order to be liked as well as desired by other people.

So, you start by just tweaking one element of yourself whether that be with your looks or personality. Then you go and tweak another element. Then another. Before you know it, you have completely changed who you are as an individual, you are unrecognisable to yourself, playing this constant act in your own life. Not only this but you come to this realization that the people you have now surrounded yourself with are not actually people you particularly like or are your sort of people.

Sounds familiar?

Trust me when I say that this is a very common thing to happen when starting University. Speaking to many different people from all different years at University it seems that we all have struggled with this.

But how do we regain our self-confidence back?

Honestly the answer to that is quite tricky because it really does differ from person to person. However, I would say that the first thing I did personally was acknowledge the issue, acknowledge that I was in fact not as confident in myself as I used to be, and I had somehow lost myself along the way.   

Then I acted. I did something about it.   I started talking to people and I really recommend you do the same. Whether that be friends, family, even lecturers. Be open about it and I can promise you now that it will help and that is speaking from personal experience. You will discover, like I did, that you are in fact not alone in feeling this way and you will also realize that by talking to others, actually speaking out loud, you will end up finding solutions to these issues on your own or at least with the help and guidance from others.

For me I discovered many things which helped me to regain my confidence back and refocus my attention on what was important.

I started to read more. I would read (and still do now)  anything from self-empowerment books and self-help books such as 101 essays to change the way you think to reading and studying the  Bible. I found that focusing on my faith journey had one of the biggest positive impacts on my confidence as well as my life in general and I really recommend my fellow Christians to do the same. 

 Other things I did was start a journal which I use to write down my feelings from my day, my highs and lows. I switched the type of music I was listening to, to happier more positive tunes and listened to more Podcasts that were all about becoming your best and highest self.

I created a proper routine for myself that gave me a reason to get up every morning and kept myself busy. I would start each morning listing things I’m grateful for and I would look in the mirror and say my affirmations. At first, I must admit I felt a bit silly doing this and I felt like it was a pointless waste of time. I didn’t feel what I was saying to myself was truthful or honest and just felt like empty words. However, over time I started to believe the affirmations I was saying, and I started to see a difference in myself as a result.

 One of the biggest lessons I have learnt on this journey to regaining my confidence back is to stop caring so much about opinions (it’s very hard I know) but the more you focus on yourself and your own life the less you will focus on others. Trust me it does work; it just takes time and practice.

 It is also so important  to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. People who understand you and people who make you smile and laugh every day.  These people will become YOUR kind of people.

And yes, that may take time to find them but be patient because you WILL find them and when you do you will be forever grateful that you didn’t waste your time surrounding yourself with the wrong people and blocking yourself off from the right ones!

You will discover over time that by focusing on yourself and your own life that your confidence will come back and piece by piece you will find yourself again.

Take it from me a girl who massively lost all her confidence at the beginning of Uni to now feeling  so much more secure in herself and surrounded by the best friendships and relationships. It takes time, patience and perseverance but you will get there!

Love always,

Ruby xo