Everything I know about Love

 

Everyone who knows me knows that I am  and probably always will be a hopeless romantic. I have just always loved love. Right from when I was little girl when I was obsessed with Disney princess movies and the love between the prince and the princess. I think I hoped one day I would fine my own Knight  in shining armour. Throughout my childhood and teen years I started watching more and more romance movies and  books and the more I read and watched the more of a hopeless romantic I became. The problem was, however, that the books and movies where not reality, love was always portrayed in such an idealistic and perfect way which is not the reality of what love is. Love is also portrayed to be always romantic between two people ,however, there are so many other types of love in the real world which I will get in to later that this picture of what love is, is so far from the truth. 

I recently just finished a book ironically about Love, however it is not what you think. The book was called ' Things no-one taught us about love' by Vex King and it opened up my eyes to a whole new perspective and understanding of what love actually is and I really do recommend it to anyone who wants a deeper and more realistic understanding of love.

 I started reading the book while I was dating someone, who I liked more than I have ever liked anyone before, I think I was hoping it would help me in a number of ways. Firstly, I have never been in a relationship and honestly not dated a lot of people, which I feel like might surprise a few of you considering I just said how much of a hopeless romantic I was, but I honestly haven't and I think I thought in my head that this book would help me to finally get in a relationship I had always dreamed of being in. I think I also thought the book would help me to become the 'best' partner in a relationship which when I think about it now, I laugh, because while the book helped me in so many ways it was not about perfectionism nor was it about changing yourself in order to attract a partner and relationship.

While the book did talk about ways and things you can do to improve relationships and connections with people it also put a great emphasis on the most important kind of love. Self love. Which as bad as this may sound I had never even really thought of before as a kind of love, but this book made me realise how it is and always will be the most important kind of love. In the book it says "You are love, it is your nature, deep in your centre. Your journey through life , your relationship with another human being is a reflection of that." That has really stuck with me since reading it, for the longest time I was trying to search for love outside of myself without realising that all of the love that I  ever wanted was actually inside of me. 

So what does self love mean ? Self love means checking in on ourselves regularly. It means asking what we need in order to thrive, without denying our experiences or emotions - or anyone else's. Self love is watching the sunset because it makes you feel at peace. It's hitting the gym or that Pilates class. Its following a passion and working for a purpose. It's dancing and creating art  and ultimately doing anything that makes you feel happy . It is also and most importantly about being kind to yourself and I hope more than anything that you will start to be kinder to yourself and stop seeking love and rather nurture the love that is already inside of you. After all how can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? Sorry that was a bit deep but you get the idea. 

 Okay so now that I have addressed what I have learnt about the most important kind of love I do still want to address what I have learnt about romantic love, after all I did say I'm a hopeless romantic.

 As you get older, romantic love is quite literally everywhere you turn. Everyone seems to be getting in relationships , going on dates etc and as someone who has never been in a relationship nor dated many people, because I date to marry in a generation where people do not date for something so serious, being single can be hard. Seeing all your friends fall in love and be in love while you haven't found your person yet can feel very bitter-sweet and even a bit lonely. But the biggest lesson I have learnt recently is that my time will come and that I should not rush trying to get in a relationship instead I should enjoy the time I have being single. Don't get me wrong I am still keeping my heart wide open to love and finding my person, however, unlike before where I felt really disheartened  about the fact I am  on my own , now I am soaking up every moment and making as many memories as possible knowing one day I will get to share them memories with the love of my life and tell him and our future  children about the memories I made when I was single. 

Platonic love is another love that recently I have found so much value and appreciation in. Platonic love for those of you who have never heard of it before is a love with no sexual or romantic desire and is in simple terms the love you have for your friends, family and anyone in your life who you share no romantic relationship with. All of my platonic relationships mean the world to me and I have so much love for each of my individual friendships without them my life would be so different. They are so important to me in so many ways. They help me get through tough times in my life and are a shoulder to cry on when needed.. They make me smile and laugh daily .Being around them true genuine friendships brings me so much peace and happiness. When I was younger I always wanted this really big friendship circle, there was  nothing I  wanted more than to have tons of friends but as I have gotten older my circle has gotten smaller. However, I wouldn't have it any other way because now the friendships I have are so true and genuine and I can spend much more time really appreciating them. 

To my friends reading this whether you have been in my life for a long time or you are a new friend I just want to take this time to tell you how much I love you and appreciate you, you are so important in my life now and always!

The last type of love I want to talk about is Gods love. God has such an unconditional love for us, he strengthens our hearts and minds and fortifies our souls." For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord " plans to prosper you not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11. 

God wants to see us succeed, He has such good plans for our life that only someone with an unlimited amount of love for us would have. The Bible says that if you need wisdom , ask your generous God and he will give it to you. He will give it to you and not rebuke you of your past and the things you did. God tells us to ask and it shall be given to you, knock and the door shall be opened , seek and you shall find it. I mean wow what powerful and unconditional love God has for us and what a special kind of love to have in our lives for the rest of our lives. 

There are so many different kinds of love in our life, so many kinds that I probably still have more to discover and learn myself. I hope that my blog has helped you to realise that Love is not just how it is presented in the movies or books and that  it seems to me Love is actually found everywhere( unintentional  Love actually reference ). 

Love always 

Ruby xo